Kimchee, As Told By Whitey

I'm making kimchee because I'm hung over. Why not destroy my bowels and mouth with fire after alcohol?

Ingredients:
One head of cabbage
1 tbsp ginger, minced
1 tbsp garlic, minced
2 tsp red pepper flakes
1/4 cup +1 tbsp soy sauce

Salt the individual leaves in a colinder for two hours or until wilted.
Wash leaves, shred leaves into edible pieces, and add the spice and soy mixture.