Fail Rutabaga 'Omelette'

I'd like to think that life is an extended lesson. I'd like to think I'm always learning things.

One thing I learned last night is that pretending to be drunk and running away from your dance partner yelling "WHERE IS MY BOO" in hopes that you'll lose aforementioned partner in the crowd is pretty high up on the list of "worst exit strategies possible."

Also known as my list of "Commonly used exit strategies."

I learned today that if rutabagas are not properly cooked, they taste really fibrous.
I learned that I cannot gracefully get a flat omelette out of a pan.
On a related note, I can't make flip normal omelettes either.

That's a rutabaga. I didn't know, either, until I saw one in my CSA box. 

AND THIS IS WHAT MY 'OMELETTE' TURNED INTO. 

I think a better description would have been scrambled eggs with undercooked rutabaga that happens to look a lot like fried potatoes. 

So yay, breakfast for dinner. 

Caraway, Lettuce,White Bean and Parmesan Soup

Um.
Um.

Sometimes I don't think things through.
Sometimes I don't pay attention to the details.
Sometimes I do some other, third option. It probably involves over  enthusiasm or a lack of enthusiasm. Or not remembering what I like. Or being adventurous when I should take the path most followed.

Sometimes I do all of that at once.

Tonight was one of those times.

It started with a simple case of mistaken identity. It said on the list that I was getting cabbage in my CSA box. I was excited. I like cabbage now, apparently. No really, I do.

I found this. I wasn't sure at the time if it was actually cabbage. I inquired of my parents. My mom said it might be. I didn't bother to taste it. It fell to the back of my mind, but as CABBAGE. I thought it was cabbage.  

It's definitely lettuce. Cabbage dream crushing lettuce. This is the lettuce of my discontent. 

But I had a recipe damnit. I was going to use it, come hell or high water.

Did it taste good?

Uhh.. no.
I added sriracha to make it palatable :(

I SHOULD JUST FUCKING GIVE UP ON COOKING NOW

I BURNT PRECOOKED BACON.

Happy New Year.