Thai style OMG WHAT THE FUCK MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE

I went to an asian market with my mother yesterday because she doesn't trust white people.

I bought panaang curry paste, thai chillies and a few other exciting things.

Putting two chillies and like one fourth a cup of chilli paste in four cups of soup. My lips have lost all feeling and my insides burn. My white girl sensibilities can't handle this shit.

It tastes better than it looks. I swear.

Ingredients:
2 cups coconut milk
2 cups stock (homemade chicken stock in my case)
2 Thai chillis, minced
1 zucchini, sliced
1 bell pepper, diced
A cheapass tin of watery, julienned bamboo shoots
2 oz mushrooms, sliced
1/4th cup OH GOD WHY IS IT SO HOT panang curry paste

Serves two

"Stir fry" the paste in sesame oil until it sticks the to the pan, you shrug, and shout mashugana. Add stock, chilis, bell pepper and allow to simmer for like 5 minutes. Add everything else, allow to simmer until zuchinnis are done... which is like five more minutes probably.

Smoky OH GOD WHY Fish Soup

Almost every single time I cook with peppers, I end up getting part of one up my nose. Every male I've told about this predilection ends up saying "HAHA YOU ARE JUST TOO CUTE OMG YOUR PAIN IS SO ADORABLE YOU'RE JUST LIKE A TINY INCAPABLE CHILD AND THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YOU."

My only thought is generally "Fuck you I wanted sympathy."
Fuck bitches. Get money.

Ingredients:
1/2 white onion, diced
1 carrot, sliced
1 celery stalk, chopped
3 chipotle peppers + some adobo sauce
2 tomatoes, chopped
6 oz of white fish
3 cups stock
1 tbsp olive oil

Cook the white onion in olive oil over medium heat until translucent. Add carrot, celery, tomatoes, peppers and stock and cook for about 10 minutes. Add fish and cook until the fish is done, about 5 - 10 minutes more.