Orange Sunflower Zucchini Bread

I love making quick breads. I love eating them. I love distributing them to my friends and family. I just flat out love baking, actually. I'm not actually sure why I wanted to make zucchini bread, but hey, I made it! I love zucchini bread so much. It's one of my favorite things to eat with coffee :) Zucchini bread reminds me of cold mornings when I was too lazy to make breakfast before class. I used to buy a slice from the little coffee stands that litter my alma mater to munch on while waiting for class to start.
I pretty much have the recipe memorized.. I'm not entirely sure where from... I think all recipes?

Ingredients:
1/2 cup butter (cold)
2 cups flour (white)
1 cup sugar
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
3/4 cup juice or coconut milk. I wanted to use coconut milk but my replacement gay doesn't like coconut
1 egg
1 cup grated zucchini
1/2 cup sunflower seeds, rinsed if salted
Zest of one small lemon

Mix all the dry ingredients together in a large bowl (Yes even sugar!) Then slowly cut in the butter. I like to use a fork and mash the butter against the sides of the bowl. Its probably good for working out all that pent up aggression that my libertarian coworkers incite in me.

Whisk the juice/milk, zest and egg together in a separate bowl. Look at my lack of an oxford comma! I'm using proper English up in this bitch. Pour the wet mixture into the dry but try to mix as little as possible. The more you mix, the less fluffy the final product will be. I JUST DROPPED SOME KNOWLEDGE ON YO HEAD, DAWG.
Pour into a greased loaf pan and bake for 45 minutes to an hour.
Cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then remove from the pan.

Black Bean and Squash Tacos!

TACOS TACOS TACOS TACOS TACOS.
One of my friends argued with me that this is, by definition, not a taco, because of a lack of meat.I still think this is a taco, but what do I know?
I didn't actually tell him it had soy sauce in it, though. Cause then I guess he could be right :(
I'm pretty much 100% certain I took the idea for these from the post punk kitchen, but I haven't been there in ages, so I doubt I followed the recipe that thoroughly.
I didn't grow up eating Mexican food in any form, so wrapping anything in a tortilla and calling it a taco doesn't seem unjust.

Ingredients:
1/2 an acorn squash
1/2 cup cooked black beans
Tbsp minced cilantro
1 baby bell pepper, diced (approximately half a normal bell pepper)
1 chili, seeded and minced (thai of course because that's all I have)
1 tbsp soy sauce
Salt, pepper to taste

After slicing the acorn squash in half, I heated a pot of water to boiling and placed the squash in aforementioned water for approximately 3 minutes. This is supposed to make it easier to peel. Who knows if it works.

Aww, doesn't it look like it wants to be eaten? It's a freaking heart omg <3

After peeling, chop the squash into cubes. Place cubes in a pan covered with foil; toss with olive oil. Set oven to 400 and roast until starting to brown.
Then, add to a pan with a bit of olive oil, and start to saute. Add the soy sauce, chili, and black beans  after about a minute and cook for about 5 minutes. Place in tacos, and garnish with cilantro and bell pepper.


What the hell is wrong with my hand??

Lemon Cilantro Red Lentil Soup

It tastes as mediocre as it looks :(

I had to choke it down, slurp after agonizing slurp.
This bizarre thing happens to me when I exercise. I lose my appetite after having a bite or two. It's kind of annoying, since I KNOW I HAVE TO EAT. Maybe I drink enough water during cardio that my stomach is just too full? I don't know.

Lemony Sauteed Kale and Broiled Salmon

When I think I'm about to get sick, I pretty much always make fish for dinner. I have this bizarre theory that if I eat really healthy, I won't get sick.
It never works.
I always get sick.
If you went off this blog, you'd probably assume I never eat protein, and, although that its true that I don't eat enough protein, I eat more than it seems. But less than I probably should :(
Anyway, every time I go to Winco, I buy some random green and I usually forget to eat it.

Ingredients:
Lemony Kale:
1/2 lb Kale, washed and drained
1 tbsp Olive oil
1/2 lemon

Salmon:
1 tbsp Olive Oil
Salt
About 5 oz Salmon

Heavily salt the salmon and let sit for half an hour. Meanwhile, remove stems

Eggplant And Bean Red Curry

When I went grocery shopping with my mom last weekend, I pointed out a bag of mini eggplants. She saw them, basically reacted with OMG HOW CUTE I MUST EAT THEM!! (I assume that my mother was one of those kids who had a tiny pencil case with tiny pencils with tiny lead in them. She goes crazier for minature things than I do. )
Unfortunately, neither she nor my father actually likes eggplant, so I "rescued" them from their refrigerator.
I did ask before I took them.

Anyway, curry is one of my cures for not feeling so great. It came out pretty well, I think. I used a recipe from a thai cookbook of my mothers, but I made a lot of substitutions.

Ingredients:
I have no idea how much eggplant. See above.
6 oz green beans
1/2 cup edamame, thawed if frozen
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 thai chili, minced
1/2 white onion, chopped
1 tbsp red thai curry paste
Peanut oil
1/2 c each stock, coconut milk
Chopped cilantro for garnish

Heat one tbsp peanut oil in a nonstick skillet. Add garlic, chili, and onion, and sautee for about 2 minutes. Add curry paste and cook for two more minutes.

Add eggplant, and cook for about 2 minutes. Add the rest of the vegetables, cook for 2 more minutes. Add the stock and coconut milk, bring to a boil, and after it thickens a bit, remove from heat. Serve over rice :)

It tasted a lot better than it looked.

Lightly Pickled Vegetables, Soy Marinaded Chicken Rice Bowl

Every once in a while when I go out, I end up going way harder than I intended.
I know this because I woke up with glitter on my arms and bruises on one of my legs.
... Yeah.

Apparently pickled food is what I do when I'm hung over... Even though I really just wanted a cheeseburger. The chicken in the bowl, though it looks decent, was disturbingly salty. Maybe my taste buds are screwed up, but.. I think it had an exceedingly high salt content.

Ingredients:
Pickled stuff:
1 large cucumber, sliced in sticks
1 large carrot, sliced in sticks
3 inch cut of daikon radish, sliced in sticks
Salt

Optional:
1/4 cup rice wine vinegar
1 tsp sugar, I recommend using more than that though
A few squirts sriracha

Place vegetables in a colander, and lightly salt. Let sit for half an hour. I think you could let them sit for 10 minutes and you'd be fine. I decided to wash the WHORE off while waiting. Thus the half hour resting time.
If you want to eat the veggies now, don't bother with the pickling fluids. They're pretty decent as is, especially if you're eating them with other things.
If you want to actually pickle them: mix the liquid components together. Place vegetables in a bowl, and pour mixture over them. Let sit for 24 hours.

Cauliflower and Pesto Gratin

I really dont like cauliflower. I don't like the flavor, I don't like the texture. I don't even like the color. Maybe my mom has rubbed off on me and I don't trust white things?
And yet, time after time, I buy it. It just looks so invitingly vegetal that I forget how much I genuinely dislike it. I invariably throw away at least half of it. Every time, I look up a half dozen recipes in an attempt to mask the flavor.

It's just hopeless.

I just don't like cauliflower.

Ingredients:

1 cup cooked Cauliflower (I steamed it for ~8 minutes)
Basil Leaves (I used about a spring)
2 cloves Garlic
(handful of ) Pinenuts
Grated parmsean

Serving size: one

Grease serving dish. Chop basil, garlic, and pinenuts together until they're mixed together well. My friend makes the most amazing rustic vegan pesto I've ever tasted. I vainly attempted to recreate it using the last of my pinenuts because I thought it would be able to mask the cauliflower taste sufficiently. It was only slightly successful. I layered the cauliflower with bits of that and a tiny bit of grated parmsean. Top with parmsean cheese.

Though somewhat filling, I ended up rounding out the rest of my dinner with half a bag of popchips (In the words of an ex's roommate: "What are popchips? Motherfucking delicious") and a mediocre bowl of radish/cabbage/miso soup.

Lemongrass Vegetable Soup

Finally using that lemongrass I bought when I went grocery shopping with my mom. This came out pleasatly spicy, but not overly so. This also managed to almost clear out my fridge!! Hurray!

Ingredients:
2 thai chilies, minced
1 medium clove garlic, minced
Zest of a small lime
Two stalks of lemongrass
1 tsp sugar
1 tbsp soy sauce or to taste
4 oz sliced crimini mushrooms
1/2 c peas (frozen in my case)
3 small carrots, sliced
4 cups stock

Serves slightly more than two

Mince the core of one of the stalks of lemongrass(IE just the parts that don't resist when you cut it. I physically can't cut anything but the inner core because of my complete lack of upper body strength and my general lack of interest in doing anything that takes effort). Chop the other one into a size where it will be able to be completely submerged in your pot(I cut it into 3 inch lengths. YES THREE INCHES I KNOW IT WAS THREE).
Place chilies, garlic, lime zest, sugar, soy sauce, and lemongrass in soup pot with stock. Heat until it boils.
Reduce heat to a simmer. Add peas and carrots, and cook for about 8 minutes. Add mushrooms, cook for two more minutes (so that they're cooked but not over cooked).

Breaking Bad

One of my coworkers commented that I looked very tired this morning. I've been experien. cing nightmares, night after night...Ever since I started watching Breaking Bad.
I don't know why I'm watching it.
I guess just because its on.
But I'm the one putting it on.

Maybe it gives me nightmares because I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CHEMIST.
According to my dad.
MAYBE
It resonates with my hypothetical life story.
It was supposed to be ME that had an affair with my MY assistant.
And then it was supposed to be ME watching my assistant marry my boss and steal my research.
And then I WOULD HAVE BECOME A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AFTER MARRYING A WAITRESS.

Asparagus Quiche, the retarded way

Nom?
Idk it tastes alright.. I guess.
I burnt the breadcrumbs, my fingers, and the roof of my mouth :(
The method/recipe was so bad though that it isn't worth sharing.

Thai style OMG WHAT THE FUCK MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE

I went to an asian market with my mother yesterday because she doesn't trust white people.

I bought panaang curry paste, thai chillies and a few other exciting things.

Putting two chillies and like one fourth a cup of chilli paste in four cups of soup. My lips have lost all feeling and my insides burn. My white girl sensibilities can't handle this shit.

It tastes better than it looks. I swear.

Ingredients:
2 cups coconut milk
2 cups stock (homemade chicken stock in my case)
2 Thai chillis, minced
1 zucchini, sliced
1 bell pepper, diced
A cheapass tin of watery, julienned bamboo shoots
2 oz mushrooms, sliced
1/4th cup OH GOD WHY IS IT SO HOT panang curry paste

Serves two

"Stir fry" the paste in sesame oil until it sticks the to the pan, you shrug, and shout mashugana. Add stock, chilis, bell pepper and allow to simmer for like 5 minutes. Add everything else, allow to simmer until zuchinnis are done... which is like five more minutes probably.

ATTN CHRISTINA AGUILERA:

I heard that "Moves Like Jagger" song.
I can only assume your secret is that you have a penis.

Not diet food :(

Cabbage soup: day two. Less yummy than yesterdays, I must say. Even with pork product :(
I think it helps that the apples I used are sour :(

Ingredients:
3 cups stock
.5 lb cabbage, chopped into child sized mouth bites
~3 oz pancetta, diced
1 apple, peeled and diced
1 tbsp butter cause I'm a fatty
1/2 a white onion, diced
Saute pancetta until its crunchy, delicious pork product. Remove from pot, pour off excess fat, add onion and cabbage and cook until they start to brown or until you get bored. Add stock and pork product and simmer for ten minutes or so. Probably.
Meanwhile, saute apples in butter until you get bored or they begin to brown. Or in my case... burn. On one side only. Use to garnish the soup.

Gingery Cabbage and Mushroom Soup

A few weeks ago, a guy tried to impress me by saying he could make cabbage soup. I said that was gross. He later asked me out, and I made up some bullshit. Badly. Cause he knows me.

Turns out cabbage soup isn't that gross.
I hope that someday I wont say "Turns out sex with fatties isn't that gross."

Ingredients:
4 oz crimini mushrooms, sliced
.5 lb cabbage, sliced
2 tsp ginger, minced
1/2 of an onion, sliced
1 tbsp sesame oil
3 cups stock

Cook cabbage, onion in oil until they start to brown, or if you're me, blacken because you walked away because you're addicted to terrible tv. Add ginger, salt, pepper and three cups vegetable stock. Turn heat to low, and let simmer for about ten minutes. Add mushrooms and cook for a few more minutes.
Optional: add chili oil to leftovers because...chili oil is delicious.